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*********************** Join the conversation, become a Fix blogger.Share your experience, strength, and hope, or sound off on the issues affecting the addiction/recovery community. (Compatibility comes from being alike or from having a high tolerance for your partner's differences.) Nothing is more rewarding than compatibility. We can’t depend on our relationship for too much happiness and we should not settle for too little.I used to look just for romantic love and it never working out long-term. The willingness to face your problems (without over-reacting): Problems come up in every relationship. Conclusion: I believe we cannot just start dating and hope that everything will fall in to place.Many people tend to have an “all or nothing” mentality. The willingness to substitute influencing for controlling: This means: - Saying something once and then letting it go.They either want a relationship to be exciting all the time, or they live with unbearable pain rather than move on. - It also means being a role-model instead of nagging someone to change. Personality boundaries: Codependents have no boundaries and neglect themselves.We would like to emphasize eight specific reasons why dating can be a positive experience in your life to help you navigate the waters of maturity and maybe, some day, even marriage. This is an end in itself because couples want to relax and experience a form of entertainment together.
I had the clothes I needed to impress a man, and I was an excellent conversationalist. In other words, dating with a purpose is like interviewing someone for the most important role in his or her life as your partner. It takes effort, patience, self-discipline and the wisdom of others who have gone through this process themselves and been successful. Often we do not start out in life with self-esteem, but if we do not have it we let our partner dominate us. - Saying what you mean (not beating around the bush). Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but it can be a deal breaker.If that is happening, even during the dating stage, you should get out.Some people are just naturally patient and others are not. If you are not patient work on this before you commit. Boredom: It is important to accept the fact that there will be days when the relationship seems very ordinary or even boring.Then I fell in love with a man because all we did was laugh and get along. We should look for someone who will stick around and discuss what goes wrong and then come up with a plan to fix it. Reciprocity (give and take): If you are a pleaser this will be strange to you. Realistic expectations: We need to be realistic about how much of our happiness should come from the relationship—not too much and not too little. The majority of our happiness should come form a healthy relationship with ourselves—self-esteem. I think we need to be honest from the beginning about what we are looking for and move on if we are not in sync.The hallmark of a healthy relationship is being with someone who can give us as much as we give them. We tend to romanticize relationships because of the movies we watch. Why waste time just hanging out if we are not dating someone who has the potential for a long term relationship.