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While I am looking for casual sex or friends with benefits right now, advertising this seems to degrade conversations to focus on just sex and I tend to be more attracted to personalities.So either I meet people who are just looking to get laid and the sex is mediocre because the emotional connection isn’t there or have a great connection and break hearts when I no longer want to hook up.More than that even — he could make me believe in my voice.And while all this coaching and singing was going on, there was also sometimes a little chatting.I have also been in a wonderful relationship with an amazing woman in this time but I was struggling to find the space I needed for myself. I have tried to be as upfront with everyone as possible about where I am and what I am looking for, but I only seem to disappoint and hurt people.And despite how good everything else was, I needed the space to find myself more. Maybe I can stop caring so much about the people I meet and their feelings toward me, but everyone I have met so far has been wonderful and worthy of some respect.
But what I think you’re experiencing is that "leading with sex" doesn’t "degrade" the conversation so much as it allows sex to stand in for intimacy in general.You want to be out there discovering who you are as a non-relationshipped person — which I totally encourage.But you still want to be close to people, to be intimate and caring.You prefer to connect with people emotionally as well as physically. Being close to and comfortable with someone brings in trust and allows you to relax in very special ways.You can perform a lot less, be a lot more honest, and (hopefully) learn how to please one another.